About SpamGoblin

My name is Brian Oakes. My wife and I are the keepers of the Goblin. Yes, the SpamGoblin. What is a SpamGoblin? Well back in the days of old, there was a mythical creature called SpamGoblin-o-lefty-viticous. I think its Latin or something along those lines. Legend has it that the SpamGoblin had special magical powers that gave them the ability to sort and make decisions, and they were always hungry. From what I was always told they fed on random garage all the time.

So, one day my wife and I were out walking about a overall, just feeling down on our luck and then all of a sudden we were approached by an older couple. We kept hearing them say something as we walked closer. It sounded like, "Don't feed the goblin, don't feed the goblin." It was one of those scenes in the scary movies where you hear this far off voice, and you can't seem to make it out but fortunately we did.

We were still not sure what they were talking about at that point, and as we got closer we heard some grunting and burping but surprisingly we didn't know where it was coming from. The noise was simply coming from a SpamGoblin, we just didn't know it yet.

So, the old couple handed me a key. Foolishly I grabbed it. Now I am reminded of the many times my parents told me to never take things from strangers, but at that time I didn't listen of course. As soon as I grabbed the key the couple just start hooting and hollering around saying; "we're free, we're free." I am sure they were from the nut house or something. I asked my wife, "What do you think them crazies mean?" She didn't know either. What we didn't know was that our life was about to change.

I should have figured it out when we felt like someone was following us home. Come to find out we were being following by a real live SpamGoblin-o-li... Whatever they are called. Then there were 2 and 3 and 4 etc. I mean you would think someone fed them after midnight or something. There were more and more just popping up all over the place, SpamGoblin's as far as the eye can see. Now that we are the keepers of the Goblin, what do we do with them?

Anyhow to make a long story short, we finally figured out how to control the SpamGoblins. We'd feed them. After some trial and error we figured out it didn't matter what they ate, just as long as they were eating. So after a bit of brain storming, we figured out that all we needed was an endless supply of food. We looked around, and have a eureka moment, I mean literally the lightbulb went off. Emails that contain Spam and Virus's.If you are reading this then you know there is an endless amount of junk email floating around the Internet, so we figured we could feed them forever. So that is what we did. We trained them to eat and eat and eat. So now, all we have to do is throw them spam and viruses 24 hrs a day and we can continue to harness the power of the SpamGoblin. All stories have a happy ending!

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